For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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