Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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