How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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