i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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