Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
