her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
