Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
its liver damage thursday
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
