i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Randomize
