we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
