okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
