I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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