So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
