**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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