trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
