VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
