yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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