please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
