Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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