just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
