My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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