why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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