YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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