At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
These tits shall not be calmed
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
