Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
