please come you make the beer taste better
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
