there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Randomize
