haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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