yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
