I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
