Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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