how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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