I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
