I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
