if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
A+ Viking dick
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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