So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
