How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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