He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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