remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
