nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
