STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
