FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
