He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
