she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
