if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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