Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
