so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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