Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
