I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
