never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
