this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i think i have two assholes
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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